Friday 14 August 2009

Many personalities of a confused blogger.

Lying in bed last night I was thinking about the blogging/journal updates I used to do way back in the day I deemed outsized band hoodies the height of fashion and it dawned on me (rather late) that everything has changed so much, including me, that the old blogs and journals are no longer relevant.
Does every blogger have split personalities? Over the past 18 months my life has shifted so much that I'm in a personality (and style, it has to be said) limbo.
Having gained two step-children who are still young enough to be moulded-thankfully, a fiance and an imminent Las Vegas wedding and lost a job-meaning I've entered the world of housewives/kept women, I've kind of lost myself in the mix somewhere.
Being technically still quite young I'm in the early twenties equivalent of that gawky pre-teen stage we all go through, I'm desperately trying to put my semi-manicured finger on exactly where I belong.
I'm painfully aware that friends think I've done the deserting act and are blaming me and the boy and our horrid selfishness for this but it's not quite as clear cut as that.
I am no longer in retail...no longer carefree, child free, cash rich and time rich. Which I am not complaining about in any shape or form but these facts cannot really be appreciated until oneself has been waist deep in nappies-that belong to a child you didn't carry, mind- and taking the flack for not being in Crabby's for the 5th consecutive saturday night.
Being woken every two hours by 'SAAAAALLYYYY! SAAAAALLY!! Need a WEEEEEE!' kind of makes you appreciate the child free nights by being in bed earlier than the proverbial 'school night' and, blissfully, sleeping right through till morning.
Now, it's not that I don't miss the going out and such, I do, I like donning vertiginous heels and the appropriate garb and toddling off to get tipsy on a glass of wine (literally, ONE glass of wine..it's sad I know). In fact, I've got rows of shoes that as soon as I open the wardrobe I can hear them whispering 'take me out, pleeeeease? it's been so long since I felt a pavement.' but circumstances (and, lets face it, this pesky credit crunch) don't always work out like Peter Andre before a photoshoot do they?

Anyway, I digress, what I am trying to figure out in an extremely roundabout way is where I fit in regarding these pigeonholes that are promoted.
Can you be a housewife who bakes and wears an engagement ring on her tattooed finger?
Can you be a tattooed girl in a pinny with a toddler under her feet?
Does anyone take you seriously if you are the above things?
And more importantly, what, for the love of all things well tailored, does a person who is any or all of the above things wear?!

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